Development

Where Does Confidence Come From?

Back in 2012, when I first started working at FLG Lacrosse, I struggled.

For the first time, I assumed a role where my weaknesses vastly outweighed my strengths. Getting on the telephone to talk to consumers, dealing with collections, organizing teams so they can have a successful year; all was new to me and all I was not very good at. Overall, I wasn’t very confident my own abilities to do my job right.

As a player, I was usually very confident. But, not always. There were moments when I’d get exposed on the field. Exposed after going up against someone better, bigger, stronger, or more experienced. Exposed by my college coaches when I’d try the same things that worked for me in High School. Exposed when I thought my IQ for the game could never be surpassed by someone younger than me.

Each time my weaknesses were exposed, my confidence was tested, and my pride challenged. These moments got me thinking, “where does confidence come from?”

After pondering this question for years and working at FLG for nearly 12 months (2012 to 2013), I created what I called The FLG Confidence Model. This model creates a full circle that takes you through the when, why, what, and where confidence comes from. It’s something that I’ve used personally to grow as an employee at FLG, as a man at home, and as a coach for those on my team.

In the model, you will see how preparation, practice, repetition, and improvement prove to be the cornerstones for developing a sense of confidence. The beauty of this model, it works on and off the field. Which is exactly our goal at FLG – building more than just athletes.

Check out our confidence model below and feel free to let us know what you think!

The FLG Confidence Model

 
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FLG Roots

FLG Roots offers a solid grounding in lacrosse techniques, rules, and creativity. The FLG Roots Foundation training is for players just picking up a stick for the first time or for youth looking to enhance their skills in the sport they love.

At FLG Roots we teach the proper mechanics for how to catch, throw, and cradle. Using soft, pink handle balls, players have no fear and learn to catch the ball with soft hands next to their ear. After player’s graduate from our Roots Program, they move onto Box Lacrosse!

Learn more by visiting our FLG Roots web page.

 
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It’s All About MYELIN

The Talent Code, by Daniel Coyle is something of a “How To” Book.  Coyle asserts that “Talent” is not something you are born with, but something you can develop.  According to Coyle, it is really all about MYELIN, the microscopic substance that insulates neural connections, making them faster and more efficient.  This can make your movements and thought processes faster and more efficient.

The Key to Growing Talent

It’s all about Myelin.

 

There are three key elements to developing Myelin, thereby enhancing your gifts and optimizing your performance in Sports, Math, Art, Music, etc.

DEEP PRACTICE

Highly focused with corrective repetitions, always striving for improvement, if not perfection.

IGNITION

The Motivational Force that makes someone willing to do the hard work, required to gain mastery in any given field.

MASTER COACHING (Talent Whisperers)

     The Four Virtues of Master Coaches

          1) The Matrix – Must possess a Multi-Layered Knowledge of the Content they are teaching.

         2) Perceptiveness – The ability to “sense” things (hearing, seeing, feeling etc.), the often subtle differences between fair and excellent execution.

         3) GPS Reflex – The ability to navigate the student through the process.  Knowing when correction is needed.  Knowing when to be demanding to get the pupil to the next level or when encouragement is necessary to prevent discouragement.   

4) Theatrical Honesty – Having the Moral Authority to lead, teach or coach.  If you have the first three virtues, you likely have this one.  Being Empathetic and selfless allow you to truly connect with your students.

This is a terrific book for anyone interested in how to improve almost any kind of performance.  Teachers, Coaches and Parents as well as their Students, Players and Children, can all gain knowledge about the Process of Practice and the Quest to Get Better.


 
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Take “the Other” to Lunch

Elizabeth Lesser, a best selling author and founder of the Omega Institute, looks to move away from demonizing or criticizing those with different views from your own. Elizabeth says, “instead of talking about someone you might consider “the Other,” talk to that person.”

Lesser’s idea of taking “the Other” to lunch means having an elevated conversation with someone who has different views or beliefs. She mentions the importance of having a lunch that follows guidelines, such as, being curious, being real, listening, not persuading, and not defending. The purpose of this conversation is not to change ones views, but to better understand them.

Are you someone who plays sports? Then sit down for lunch with someone who would rather play an instrument.

Not an outdoors person? Each lunch outside with someone who is all about the environment.

Were you raised Catholic? How about breaking bread with someone Jewish.

Taking “the Other” to lunch isn’t just for adults. It’s a great opportunity for children in school or students in college to listen, connect, and network with “the Other.”

Learn more about Lesser’s idea of taking “the Other” to lunch by viewing her Ted Talk below:

 
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Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

FLOW
by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The central theme of this amazing work, is that people can improve almost any experience they may engage in (even something that normally may be seen as boring or unpleasant), by learning how to order their own consciousness.  Csikszentmihalyi outlines ways to control your consciousness and thereby improve the quality of your life.   He calls the truly satisfying state of consciousness, Flow.  In terms of athletics, it reminds me of the often used term, “in the zone”.

He goes on to give examples of Flow Activities and the Conditions that must be present for Flow, to occur.  These conditions are broken down into “Elements of Engagement”.  They are listed here.

  1. It must be a Challenging Activity that requires skills.
  2. Action and Awareness must be combined.  It requires your complete attention, and you become one with the activity.
  3. It must have Clear Goals and give Feedback (this reminds me of a “wallball” session, if done well).
  4. It requires Total Concentration on the Task at Hand.  You must block out all else and be totally focused.
  5. There is a Sense of Control.  There is a calmness and lack of worry.
  6. There is a Loss of Self-Consciousness.  People are so focused on the activity, they are no longer pre-occupied with “self”.
  7. Flow Activities are able to Transform Time.  Many athletes, performers, artists etc., report losing track of time, during Flow Activities.

 

                                  FLOW Chart

The Chart above shows the relationship between Challenges and the Skills required to meet those challenges.  To get into the “Flow Channel” (or, “in the zone”), the Challenge Level must be met with the necessary amount of skills.  As Challenges increase in difficulty, so too, the Skills Level must rise.  If you have more Skills than required you will be bored.  If the Challenge is too much for your Skill Level, you will be anxious.  For “Optimal Experience” you want to be in the “Flow Channel”.

This is not an easy book to read.  But like most good things, it is worth the work!

 
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Competitive Greatness

How to become the best you can be.

John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success

The final Building Block in Coach Wooden’s Pyramid of Success, is Competitive Greatness.  Great Competitors relish great challenges.  The more difficult something is, the harder you have to work to achieve it, making it that much more satisfying when you do.  If you have the rest of the Building Blocks in place, you will be able to find your competitive greatness.

Wooden is not talking about winning.  He is referring to the exhilaration you feel when you have faced something that has challenged your “mind, body and spirit”.  When you are able to muster all that is required to meet such a challenge, you have succeeded.

At the Apex of his Pyramid, Coach Wooden defines Success this way.  “Success is peace of mind that is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”

Coach Wooden coached for many years before winning a championship.  His team’s at UCLA ultimately won 10 NCAA Championships in 12 years.  But his definition of success does not include winning.  It is about the Journey and the experiences you have and lessons you learn along the way.

 

 
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Poise and Confidence

Near the top of Coach Wooden’s Pyramid of Success, are the Building Blocks – Poise and Confidence.  These two qualities are natural outgrowths of the Building Blocks that lie beneath them in the “Pyramid”.

How to become the best you can be.

John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success

Poise

Wooden defines “Poise” as being yourself, not pretending to be something that you’re not.  I think “Poise” is also the capacity to maintain your composure and focus, no matter the intensity of the situation.

Confidence

To be successful in almost anything, you must have the confidence in yourself and by extension, your team, to achieve the task at hand.  Real self-confidence will blossom only when you have properly prepared and usually after much hard work and experience.  Champions and other leaders seem to exude Poise and Confidence, especially in the most crucial moments.

When all of the previous Building Blocks are in place, “Poise and Confidence” should become present, they cannot be artificially generated. If you possess both, you are well on your way to being successful, in whatever you are trying to do.

 
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Three More Building Blocks in The Pyramid of Success

John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success

 

The next three Building Blocks in Coach Wooden’s Pyramid of Success, are Condition, Skill and Team Spirit.  These are all very important elements for players to possess, if their teams are to be successful.

Condition

As a player, you will never reach your potential if you are not in the best possible condition.  Conditioning, is of course Physical Conditioning, but Mental and Emotional Conditioning as well.  This is really just another way to discuss the importance of Preparedness.

“Failing to Prepare, is Preparing to Fail”   Benjamin Franklin

Skill

This Building Block sits in the very center of the Pyramid.  To perform your job effectively, you must possess the required skill set for that job, whatever that job may be.  Being able to execute quickly and properly, is essential to your success both individually and collectively.

Team Spirit

The willingness to put the good of your team before your own individual goals.  This is what makes someone a “team player”.  Your “team” may be a business, your family or community or a sports team.  For a team to reach its greatest potential, it must be filled with “team players”, who care more about the welfare of the “team”, than their own interests.  A true “Team Player” will always find success in whatever the endeavor.

 

Give these central building blocks, some additional thought and try putting them into action in your own life.  It should yield positive results.

 

 

 

 
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Gleason

A story of one man’s life on the surface is all about football. Relentless, heroic, NFL linebacker who has it all. Steven Gleason is responsible for one of the most dramatic punt blocks in NFL history. His play ignited what is known as re-birth of an entire city.

After that same man is diagnosed with ALS, which is a progressive chronic disease where your brain loses its ability to communicate with the muscles in your body, he starts a video blog for his unborn son. In a hit documentary created in 2016, titled Gleason, viewers get an opportunity to see pieces of that video blog. This documentary takes you on a journey of a man who explores a deeper meaning to life. He explores faith, insecurities, fears, and the importance the father son relationship.

Steven Gleason takes his diagnosis and decides to live more, explore more, love more, and give more.  The film is touching, and a true emotional journey through a life that’s getting progressively “worse,”  life that’s supposed to “shut down and fail,” and, a life that has “nothing left to give.” Watch this film, and you will actually see a man who’s impact grows each day. A life that continues to give more, and hold back less. A life that triggers a foundation for patients with ALS, and scientists researching a cure for this terrible disease.

Learn more about Steven Gleason’s heroic story by watching Gleason. 

 
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